I did inhale… and I’m not proud of it…

Well folks, after hundreds of people warning me, I finally installed a window fan. After 5 hours, two trips to the Bahaus hardware store I mananged to put something together. I am not a carpenter at all, this was in part why I dragged my feet. Well, that and also spending time painting rather than worrying about this.

If you can build a wood square frame and get an industrial fan you can do it. My windows were a bit more complicated than the U.S. sliding windows, but with wood, glue, nails, screws and a industrial foam core, I made a very nice fan. Now I just need to secure it. I can feel the suction under the door where you enter…

Studio safety was never on my high list of concerns but it is an issue. Enough visiting artists, friends and curators have complained. Its such a banal issue in the midst of creativity.

Now I even wear latex gloves while painting, but that only came after some grants came in. It all costs money… In any case, total cost for all to build this window fan, about 50 bucks. The fan itself was an industrial model, not special, but “German made” and looks like its hardy and safe. The foam core padding all the wooden frame has the added benefit of blocking sound as well.

A funny side note, a few years back I was having my visit from one of Demi-God high level painters and I was all prepared. Work hanging, just waiting around. Well I knocked over a bottle of paint thinner, broke it and was covered in the stuff, the studio reeked of it. This was 5 minutes before she arrived. It was too late to change, and so i spent the interview being told many times over to get ventilation and to try acrylics.

Interesting: Republicans in panic!

I know, I know, you prefer the art topic entries. This is just a quick one. I was astounded to see Bush making an attack on Obama in Israel. Republicans have been losing races everywhere, even Mc Cain is not using the work “Republican.” Think about that. A Republican candidate is afraid of using the name of his own party! It shows just how badly Bush has messed up on everything.

If Obama can get a sitting president to make a U.S. political hit speech while abroad, they must be very worried. And hell, they should be. If I listed all the scandals, mishandling of disasters and economic woes of the American people here I imagine I would need a database to search through all of it.

All in all it actually appears pretty sleazy somehow to suggest that discourse is not an effective strategy. Theres that religion, you know the one the Republicans waive all the time, starts with a C, it suggests “blessed are the peace makers.” Even has a leader who…lets see, his name starts with a “J” who could of led a rebellion and he took a peaceful path. But thats just crazy talk I guess?

Same goes for the Iranian president, hmmm, I guess the “M” leader of the faith was also wrong? All in all, stupidity goes a long way, and ignorance even deeper.

The Republican Party is running scared, and they should be.

The List: Not Fair

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm as I am debating setting fire to things and jumping ship (no certainty yet on the blogs future; don’t stress) I thought I would make an entry I have always wanted to make, but never did. Maybe I need to branch out into other areas I have not written to much about. A list of things that bug me when walking into any exhibition places. I once remarked that sometimes exhibitions feel like an exercise in prototype regurgitation. These are things that have been masterfully done by a few but then a million makers somehow pick it up too to benefit from the market I guess. So here it goes.

1. spoof a museum exhibition, because Fred Wilson did not hit that one out of the park already.I’ll be damned if I don’t see someone using artifacts of a museum or creating faux artifacts every month. I tend to feel like I am walking into some remote Duchamp love child who was raised by Warhol.
2. large scale photographs
3. strings of light bulbs! Felix Gonzalez-Torres!!! Come-on!? Yeah, that famous guy…
4. photos printed on plexi
5. light boxes
6. Video of people doing some physically violent action that Bruce Nauman has done so damn successfully…
7. paintings that are remakes of design elements taken from pop culture (I saw a host of these recently)
8. stab anything through its head in a painting with a giant knife
9. toilet photos, damn it, if I see one more person sitting on a toilet and taking photos of themselves I am going to throw some real crap at it.
10. paintings that mimic modernism, cobra, but in a bad way. Its not the 70’s folks.
11. breathing in plastic bags, being in bubbles, (except that one seinfeld episode)
12. deer antlers, my god, I saw them recently stuck on a giant beaver, and another artists website with 15 variations on them, some were Elk antlers, okay they get a B for some progress.
13. install video monitors laying on their side
14. video game using mock Atari aesthetics
15. video using imovie and quicktime filters
16. birdhouse paintings: tweedle dee…tweet
17. masses of paint on a painting which have no purpose at all in the making of the work other than to impress the viewer with the amount of paint. Wow, they should be doing ceramics?!
18. Galleries of Asian artists making weird trendy Asian versions of the Wests successful works. Call me crazy but I don’t think thousands of years of tradition should be thrown out. Technical mastery does not equate to success.
19. Street Trash Art mixed with Graffiti, last year I was visiting a prominent residency in Berlin and a international artist was using found objects and spraying them.
20. Luc Tuymans conjuring; the faded gentle painting of Luc was done so well in the 90’s. Anything after this just appears to be blindly following his achievement.
21. Add text: Adding text to anything does add a layer of new complexity, but it does not mean its necessary, nor does it mean it is good. When your working consider the image first before slapping some lame phrase like, “she was not me” Pettibon has pretty much hammered the aesthetic flat.
22. Let me revisit Imovie and Final Cut Software. Do not use the special effects or edit the film crapily and expect it to pass as art with a capital A. Anyone with technical experience can see how easy it was to make, and also that you were probably lazy. Use the technology as a tool to go higher. Look at Bill
23. Smearing your painting of a photo will do nothing more than evoke Gerhard Richter. My response and many other people will say, “Hey its like Gerhard, but these are crappy, or better, these are copies, oooh.” That reaction might also happen with Luc’s work.
24. Bad, bad, really bad Porn: God bless you, but sex has been beaten to death for centuries, and quite frankly the California masters probably makes yours appear like a bad imovie project. Do something radical like explore “love.”
25. Place large mask or object on head and walk around scarily during opening. Yep, your scary. But I like McCarthy better.
26. Using tape, mask off large sections on a wall and paint within the lines. see Warhol’s, paint by numbers Or Sol Lewitt, Franz Ackermann, you have some serious competition.
27. Photoshop thousands of things together and print large scale photographs. Use deer antlers and butterflies somewhere in the photo. Place a light box behind it, and don’t hide the large distracting cord.
28. Photoshop the information of your photo and translate it into a painting that is more boring than the photo.
29. Paint delicate paintings of genitalia, paint them like your bored…
30. Create a giant box out of cardboard and put a bad video in it. Then walk outside and throw money a homeless guy who has more content in his box than you.

Now this list could grow, admittedly there are things one maybe could write about me. But hell, i am in the mood to burn. Maybe I just need to get back to painting again. In three days I should be happily back at work. So I am off, I just need to place my antlered head in a plastic bag, and get out the camera for the bathroom.

C

PS/ Oh hell, let me add a gallery list of things that happened to friends or me…

1. Tell artist they will have a solo and then decide, hmm maybe later.
2. Make the artist pay for moving the work when you are taking 50% of her profits anyways.
3. Don’t update your website, ever.
4. When an artist gets a prize of money (after you have agreed to pay for a catalog), say, “Hmmm, can you help pay for the catalog?
5. Invite the artist to do a show, then provide absolutely no money, materials or even tables for them to work.
6. Tell the artist you will show them, give them a date, then say, “Hey this artist is better known that you are” I will move you to the next year. (This actually happened to a friend of mine)
7. Sell the artists work, then wait 6 months before paying them. Oh, and go on a vacation while they wait to be paid.
8. Have really great artists in your gallery, then hire an old family friend to make a website that looks like one of the first websites in the 80’s. Make sure to use an old template with times new roman fonts, size 14 text, and bullets.

Dualities

Ugh, the blog almost reaches 10,000 hits and I am thinking of quiting once again. I’m not writing this to get pats on the back or comments. I feel like I am entering a new period as an artist and need to focus on plain working, documenting my writings will just become personal and leave the public sphere. Painting seems huge at times, eating up almost everything. On top of it all, I am aware I stepped onto a new level, and that it would be best to keep these rants and reflections to myself.

Ah, things seemed once so simple. Its as if other arms that have grown for survival are retracting and i need to consolidate all facets to be myself. Thus from one action comes differing things… maybe differing things can collapse back on itself to step into new territory.

All is Fair

It was with seriousness but irony that was reading a book on Darwin as I took the train to see my work on the art fair.

Today I am dead tired, I was just shown for a couple days as one of the “young artists”, and this again establishes the rule, that perhaps up to 35 you are considered young in the art world, at least trendy ones. Once over it you might be old. But my new gallerist seems to see things in the long run, thus him telling me to just work and I need to be progressing slowly and carefully in the market, decades of experience on his part allow him to have this experience. He is just exploiting the trend perhaps. Miro said once that one cannot really being painting till ones 45. In any-case I feel like I understand what direction to move in and have goals. Abstract ones, but at the same time solid. Words like vibrancy, power, force, tight/loose…

Being on fairs of this level are new to me, before I was just on alternative fairs, still good but not the chic ones which boast big money. Now that I am aligned with this gallery things have changed a bit. I now have some weight to my cv in regards to the powers that be in this country. He is tied to london, ny, zurich, germany, and LA. I am small though, the other artists took the central stage for the whole fair.

I did not sell, but I was seen by alot of important people, one guy even walking by and congratulating the gallerist on finding me. I am new blood, an oddity, not quite fitting into any normal paradigm here. Things that make me odd at least on this fair:1.) I Don’t quote Richter or Luc Tuymans in my way of working, 2) I don’t use the photograph or projection in my process. 3) I work with alot of paint and all of it has purpose, its not just piled up on the canvas. 4.) I work very large, only perhaps one other artist is working as large as I am.

I guess I had a fan club amongst other younger artists, many were taking photos saying that it was “wild” and like a battle had taken place. An older artist came up and asked me rediculous questions, one was: “something is missing, somehow, what do you think it is?” I am not sure he knew, if he did, he did not tell me…. He was another person though that told me that ” I had courage to paint like this.”

This keeps coming up, and I think that it must mean quite simply that anyone painting in a direct mode of working picking up where abstract expressionism left off and postwar ways of working in a modern sense is crazy, or at least rare.

However, I had some great comments that pointed me to some other artists who are working in someway similar to me. Ironically in reading about one of the artists someone recommended me to see, the article said: He uses the abstract expressionist aesthetic but without the angst. My background in poor neighborhoods is definitely the angst in my work now. It sets me apart as well as the attributes of scale, material, and process mentioned above.

I now have to work and produce a full series of new paintings. Its time to think production. However, given way I work though it just means get a bunch of new canvases ready and do what I always do.

Oh, a funny note, I was talking to the gallery assistant, and I said, maybe I will create some drawings on site outside. He laughed and said “Yeah, at least you wont be painting on an easel outside with a straw hat!”

Creativity and the art making are so much bigger than these fairs directed by trend. Thank god we have some gallerists and collectors that are still pursuing good work that might not be “hot.” An artist who was taking a photo of my work went over to me and said, how old are you, I told him. He looked young, but the wrinkles on his face showed his age. Word to the wise, never don the heavy orange tan, it just looks like your insecure. “Crazy painting man, crazy!”

Youngn- C

Pull out, pull out! Hillary?! *^S&DSX!

Heres a brief entry before I head off to my opening. I just read the NYTimes this morning about Obamas slam victory in North Carolina, and Cintons squeaking by in Indiana. Okay folks heres the rub. Hillary, you need to pull out and stop attacking Obama so we can make a sweep of the Republican machine of oppression.

You are behind in everything, sometimes I have learned in life, that unlike in fiction (ie. Rocky) we cannot win, there are better people, stronger people. Also other factors like timing and context matter.

If you trudge on and keep using Republican tactics to smear Obama I will have lost all respect for you. I am not sure I could even vote for you… Its just plain ugly old school tactics…

Lets remember the stolen elections and strong arm tactics from before…. no need to go on…

Defectors?

I know, its all over the news, but I was so disgusted to see Hillary on Bill O’ Reillys show that I have to say something. She is completely playing the conservative handbook against Obama and it just shows Hillary is old Washington. What to do…

It fascinating though to watch more and more people from the Clinton campaign defect and move over to Baracks campaign. Its about integrity and trying to offer something new… I heard the younger generation is more center/populist oriented and looking to make “change” as one of their common traits. It might be why the youth are so incredibly fired up about Obama. Obama appears to be trying to bring everyone together.

Its interesting to see this talk of defectors, its a war of sorts, one person playing dirty the other trying hold his head up high and move forward. Both are trying to start looking at solving the complete mess caused by the current administration….

Old Mc Cain stumbles around switching ideas and strategies to face the tidal wave of anger coming from the American people, offering cuts of 13 cents or so on a gallon of gas… More scandals for veterans who come home to live in substandard barracks…. incredible…

Can we have integrity in a politician? What would America feel like? In the meanwhile the Bush administration takes swipes at congress and ignores American realities on the ground both in America and in Iraq.

Virtual Cache for every man, woman, and child…?

Increasingly a big question for me is figuring out how to store massive amounts of data safely as a roaming artist, and for that matter a 21st century person. Its as if I need a storage space attached to me but at a distance. Its a problem thats coming around to almost everyone. I use gmail to handle my mail, and gradually will add files there as well attached to messages to “back them up.”

This is not ideal though, it means searching for them and using up space on their servers… I am sure they look looking at it, but their not anything really useful. And after two stolen computers, a crashed harddrive, accidental rewriting over my digital photos I am really wanting something that exists on the web. Burning lots of Dvd’s is not cool, and just messy. Traveling constantly is difficult to move data, and packing it into my laptop just eats up space.

I know that some computers are adding more room up to a terabyte, but then what if the computer is stolen… god.

The online free services have limitations, to give you an idea of my needs I could easily drag 5 Gigabytes of files to a server per month. I tried media max, but they have limitations regarding service (how much you can upload at a time.)

Anyhow it caused me to wonder and think that probably in the not too near distant future we will all have our own private server that can handle large volumes of data, kind of like safety deposit boxes

If anyone has any tips on a good strategy, feel free to comment.

c

Destroy all constructs: Growing up

I got crazy in the studio today once again, this time the work is moving into completely new territory, I sat there and thought, my god, I am becoming so old school. My friends are going to kill me. Some of my fellow painters have the punkish painting thing going on. Its hip here in Berlin, well, and alot of places I guess.

I am truly going into territory along the lines of traditional expressionistic painters, each month brings me further away from hard lines and orients me toward landscape and ambiguity. The scraping has gone over the top, I was worried today I was going to peirce the canvas, but the extra gesso once upon a time appears to be holding up. Its yielding the richest surface and energy.

Heres a strange comment, it feels like I am growing up. These are adult paintings that are taking form. Do adult paintings exist? In the video VC brought to our attention. The one guy who is interviewed says that Thomas worked very hard and improved over time.

There was an area in the painting, in fact in much of the painting that felt too easy. My mentor years ago used to warn me that since I could do almost anything that I wanted I had to be tough on myself. My wife will laugh if reading this. She knows I am harder on myself than anyone. Its a challenge for any jury or visiting artist to find something to argue with me. I am always working on improvements. But tonight I broke a layer, image wise, physically and perhaps in sophistication that has started to radiate something different. Its like the energy that powered earlier work is coming through in a raw way.

I feel like I could paint for days on end… damn I have to go to over see moving my work and a new show. Its only a few weeks, but I am in a groove, it took 3 weeks to break into it….

In anycase, I guess I will try to rest while away and work on the publicity machine… the urge now to be in nature is clear, its tied directly to this all, and I need to explore it. Maybe I can get away with doing small paintings in holland outside… nature there is so manicured though… oh well, an idea…it will keep me sane I guess… and VC pointed out in an earlier comment Alex Katz painted in parks..

Opening Thomas Nozkowski Recent Work at PACEWILDENSTEIN

The recent newyork opening of Thomas Nozkowski, brought to you in part by VC.

I liked the Einstein hair guy, and the comment that Thomas made before to young painters on advice of what to do. “Survive!” Seems like a very nice guy as well as a great painter. Reminds me of openings here in Berlin.

ADD can be diabolically annoyingly, embarrasing…

Above ADD brain and a normal brain….

God, I dont mind have the creativity part of ADD and its been a long time since I wrote on the subject but today I had a classic moment. A friend sent an invitation, the address of her current exhibition. The print is in bold, large, no problem right? No, I went right over that and copied the small tiny address that was at the end of the email.

So with google map in hand, and directions I made up and printed, I trek 40 minutes away by Ubahn and Sbahn, reading away in obliviousness. All the time thinking, man, this is so far out…what a strange place for a show, must be in an alternative space, that makes sense… After some searching I find the address. What? A normal apartment…. looking around I find the buzzer, her home buzzer…. I had copied her home address…

So now I wasted about 2 1/2 hours of valuable time.

Love and Hate

Today I had one of those days, I’ll be damned if I didn’t think a dozen times the work was nearing being finished. Then soon after something was wrong. Now, normally this forward and backwards painting, applying paint and the scraping it out comes as the method toward the final work. What was strange today is the feelings of elation at each addition. The low points are filled with feelings of being destructive.

This painting is going to take a while. I am about to leave to my other studio and be away for about 2-3 weeks. Maybe its for the best, one the paint will dry, and two, I wont be walking into the studio every 3 minutes to look at it.

I think I answered the riddle of why I was feeling compelled to be outside and painting. I wanted more contrast and vibrancy. Theres a richness to experience out there…sounds strange to say, but I need those doses. As painters we hold up in our studios sometimes and need to step out. It gets harder each year… why?

Anyhow the new painting now with dozens of layers, wet into wet oil is getting a very rich surface. Further I am pushing color much further than I have before. The better paints do matter… you get past the price once you are deep in the process of working.

I am eye-ing now Old Holland paints… 100-150 Euros a tube or so… I think I will implement a tiered process, basic paints, middle range and high end. I found one tube that a friend left and opened it, the pigment is very strong. It makes windsor newton or amsterdam oils seem like paste with color additive! Just a small amount produces a richer intensity. I know some think the whole thing is a scam, but after a certain point you get what you pay for.

Anyhow I am still going back and forth on whether to leave it alone, time to maybe go to visit some museums and get distance… Its like a rollercoaster, and those spikes and holes are scary.

c

Addendum Nature Boy

Well, went into the park in Berlin. Learned a lesson. If park has a plethora of drug dealers do not bring camera with you, they will be suspicious. I walked in dreamily and was shooting, mostly skyward when I heard one guy come up behind me, and say, hey, hey you,… he followed me for 500 meters before he stopped. I just kept walking and shooting like I was only interested in the trees. I’ve seen sting operations to bust these guys before. But anyhow this pissed me off…

I wonder if they would bother me if I painted them?

Artist Interviews

Hi readers, just passing on a great link on the BBC with interviews between John Tulsa and other painters, playwrights etc… Its amazing when you read Galensons book and then listen to the interviews and see his theory played out in the discussions.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio3/johntusainterview/

Hillary Clinton goes old school: Aligns with Conservative Attacks

I am not sure what Hillary is thinking but her attack ads in Pennsylvania showed exactly what Obama has been claiming all along. That Hillary is part of the problem, the old style politics. Scare the hell out of Americans. Bush and Cheny have used that strategy for years. Americans seem to fall for it again and again, and despite everyone knowing the pattern is destructive, Hillary used it to attack Obama. It was discouraging to see someone possibly on the democratic ticket use the same strategy. Its getting so depressing.

Obama would do well to step away from her tactics and put full funding and force into reaching poor Americans, and the middle class. Barack, needs to try use very specific targeted ads and get down to the details.

In anycase, I am worried, more worried each day, Mc Cains people have to be loving this all. I want to see who Mc Cain is going to choose as a running mate. Because given his age, we should consider it a high probability that he may have to be the next president. The latest stats say that the average American male lives to 74.

Hey, what if Mc Cain chose Hillary as a running mate? : )